#ive seen way more here than twitter but its just Exhausting

[theyellowhue]

Day 84 since LITA ended

The day LITA ended was very bittersweet. The story concluded on an amazing note. Every storyline had been wrapped into perfect packages that it left me nothing to complain about. I would have wanted more episodes but that's just me wanting to see more of the weather boys. Yet, even with the perfect ending, it made parting with the series a little difficult. I have fallen in love with it and suddenly the series ended.

I jokingly said before the ending that i will treat the finale as a break-up. Not that ive ever had been broken up to but the hallow feeling and constant yearning i still have for LITA even after it ended felt like one. This is the actual reason why i started this whole counting the days since LITA ended posts. Its my way of coping.

If you ever go through all my "Day xx since LITA ended" posts, youll see me go through the emotions of missing the LITA and the weather boys. Some of it is horrifyingly overdramatic and slightly embarrassing.

Anyway, im just feeling a little emotional over my comfort BL series. An absolutely normal thing to do!!! Also, i just love the whole LITA tumblr experience. Im sure that if i had spent screaming about LITA on twitter, i would have not been this hook to the series. I mean some people are really out there pitting the couples with each other, its exhausting. Thankfully i havent seen thay behavior here on tumblr but maybe ive just made an impenetrable bubble made out of my love for the weather boys that nothing negative reach me, either way, im thankful for it.

Ending on a lighter note, Boss, Noeul, Fort, and Peat are absolute legends for bringing life to the characters they play. Its their first time being a lead role in a BL series and they absolutely smashed it!!! In more ways than one 😏

[yuissamidare]

Send you a character? DANA of course!!!

anon you are a benevolent god

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: oh my god. oh my god. anon are you ready for an essay. i don’t even know how to describe how it... dana’s not the type of character that’s usually my type so i was Extremely confused myself when i started getting so Excited to see her... she stole my heart without me noticing. i thought i’d be neutral on her at first bc she’s such a rough and brash and vulgar character but... something i noticed a really early on is how hard she works and how much she loves and cares for others, despite her brashness. shes spiteful and petty and rude and yet is still doing whatever she can to yank the world in the direction of Slightly Less Shitty. she’s the woman who’s monstrous to the monsters and she’s so proud of that, and i love that about her!! hubris is so sexy

like... dana just Gives A Fuck about people. she cares about the people around her and the people not around her, Just Because they’re people who love others too, that dance and sing and cry. because somehow, against all odds, the world is worth it and it’s not like she can fuck off somewhere else. but she’s always well aware that the worlds always been on fire and sometimes Being Nice doesn’t cut it in the real world if you want to survive. sometimes when you fight, you don’t win; believing in a noble cause doesn’t mean you’ll prevail; sometimes people won’t change despite how many chances you give them. it’s nice to believe otherwise but sometimes the Nice Thing isn’t always the Right Thing if you know what I mean. (its 3 am im babbling so idk if this makes sense)  you just gotta grit your teeth, bear the heat, dig your heels into the dirt and keep going. and isn’t that shitty? isn’t that infuriating?? don’t you hate that?? dana sure does, and she channels that into helping others bc there’s a lot you can do when you’re a stubborn motherfucker who refuses to die.

for dana, i think, work is never finished and will never Be finished, because there’s no such thing as winning forever, and i think that’s something she had to learn the hard way - bc sometimes the best we can hope for is five minutes of peace - but even then, the fight itself for a future where people aren’t so monstrous to each other is worth it to her. there’s no end to her work and it’s not like she’s doing it bc she’s a particularly noble or nice person. she just wants to help people. we always have a tomorrow and when tomorrow comes it’s another day to build a community and link arms with the people around you, bc entropy is real and it may be impossible to get rid of today, or tomorrow, or in ten years, but someday, so it’s important to her that she helps now, bc even if people aren’t great, even despite there being so many awful people, she chooses to believe in good and justice even if it’s not the Nice route that dune insists she takes. hope and strength come from the bonds we share with each other, holding hands in the dark. 

she’s the type to go ‘fuck you, i do what i want and protecting people is what i want; i want a world where everyone can stand side by side, a world where justice exists, a good world that i can live in. im going to put my faith in others and believe in that world, even if ive never seen it, even if ill never see it.’ she does shitty, exhausting, backbreaking work and it never ever ends, and it’s not what she signed up for when she became a hero. it doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full, but that there’s water in the glass at all, and as long as there’s that, she’ll make it as hard as she can for the world to tear her down! if there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, she’ll bring her own matches!! if no one’s going to speak for others, she’ll be the one to scream in their stead!! 

least favorite thing about them: I can’t read suddenly what does this say. listen... dana has many, many, many, many flaws but they all contribute to why i love her

favorite line: oh there are so many she’s hilarious... but... “if there are people around never hesitate to call for help, and if people need help go ahead and help them - that’s why people live together”.

brOTP: guineung... those fuckers love each other so much they’ve been stuck at the hip for eight years. they’re family. she has great interactions with no2 and dune too... and her and yeomho have a really good understanding of each other..... then there’s raptor and haze and stell. Let’s Say Everyone At Spoon

OTP: osudana... i compared it to the ‘ta ta tah ra ta’ dynamic but it’s not really like that?? dana is so sweet to him and she loves him because ‘hes a nice guy’... on the other hand osu pays so much attention to her, and i do think he loves her (honestly that part in 32 reads like osu thinks she doesn’t need Him anymore and wants him to leave and that’s a part of the reason he’s so upset) but he has a lot of shit to deal with concerning his health and his family and that’s a bit more pressing to him than romance, just like with dana she loves him but sometimes he has to take a drop on her priority list

nOTP: there’s no western fandom but i see medudana a lot in the eastern one... i get it gay rights but medusa is literally so mean to dana, she intentionally does shit to make her angry then openly talks about killing her n going she literally laughs at dana when she’s talking to naga about going to therapy for depression n anger management. if you want dana to date a girl bidan is right there, and severely underrated. also i know guineung is incredibly touchy with dana and they’re horribly co-dependent but no. 

random headcanon: the fact twitter says that she was timid as a kid, and that’s also repeated on the korean wiki so that’s canon so like... i feel like dune was her first genuine friend and the first person to tell her it’s okay to be angry and to have feelings, and not force herself to act in the way her mother wants. i think dune is the only person she’ll let herself cry in front of too, bc he won’t demote her to ‘child that needs to be soothed’ he lets her feel her emotions and doesn’t treat her like she’s falling apart when she needs time to herself to let her be vulnerable... i love dune.

unpopular opinion: me and @ryangha are the only ones here from what i know so all my opinions are valid.

song i associate with them: this cover makes me think of osudana and this is dana in general 

favorite picture of them: this question in particular is going to kill me dana radiates such sexy in every panel she’s in how can i choose...

like... if i had to choose it would be this!!

danas not a gentle or soothing person, but people love and respect her and depend on her nonetheless because she’s so genuine. raptors someone who hides her negative emotions and the fact that she reaches out to dana to get comfort from dana after her the death of someone she loves dearly shows how much everyone means to her and how much she means to them (not to mention she check up on every employee after this?? and is dealing with the press beating her ass?? godtier. the perfect woman)

[pionas]

hihi!! sorry this is a kinda out of the blue message BUT not really just cause its something ive noticed from your posts and stuff. but i just wanted to say that seeing what you have to say about itzy is so refreshing 🫶🏼 im not new to tumblr (since i mainly use twitter :/) just new to being a years long kpop fan when i came back and the things i've seen about itzy on twitter is so exhausting like im constantly stuck seeing people hate on them for no reason and just diminish and discredit their hard work and it feels like its just me and few mutuals on twit constantly defending itzy and its so exhausting bc obv there are so many people coming to itzy's defense but it always feels like its getting wash away by the negativity. so i just wanted to basically say thank you for always coming to their defense too, you have easily became someone who im glad i found your blog and followed. just bc you don't know people reception of certain groups for me its itzy and svt and just seeing someone defend the girls the same way i do is so nice to see :') also a huge plus is your stunning gifs!! i cant wait to see what else you post!! :) 🫶🏼

hello this made me very happy thank you for telling me this 🥺 ever since sneakers era, the hate they have been getting has become way too much to ignore and i do imagine that on twt is way worse than here! my mutuals here are very receptive of itzy even if they don't stand them but since i do gifs for them and they get spread sometimes i see people making weird comments about them in the tags of my posts and it's genuinely exhausting to see it in my notifications every time they i feel like i need to address it and talk about it! i do understand disliking their music but as we both know it's very much becoming more than that and it's not really about people having opinions on their music anymore! i just can't stand people wanting them to become something that is more palatable to their taste and quite frankly telling that to an artist is just not okay especially when they like the concept they have going on and are proud of it! this hate definitely stems a lot from the fact that they can't stand that they are successful and well loved doing a concept and music that they hate and it has become pretty obvious! i am not actively on twt anymore i just have an account for updates and see what my faves are doing but definitely i would be exhausted if i was exposed to this negativity on my tl and it's honestly why i stopped having fan accs on twt but seriously thank you for sending me this :< pls don't be exposed to negativity abt itzy for too long if it's something that makes you sad it's better to like leave the app for a bit and not think abt these people too much and if needed update your mutual list for the sake of your sanity KJDFKGD i hope you are having a good day

[ariyadaivaris]

hey ive been trying to figure out how to do this for awhile and since some anons have asked im gonna try 2 articulate my feelings about f*nn and this is not going to be very polite and im sorry, its nothing personal and if you have a perspective on him that i dont its fine and i absolutely get you and im glad you can enjoy that! i just wanted to try and work through how the fuck i feel about him and this is ultimately a pretty personal post and not a Manifesto on How F*nn Is Bad (i dont think he is, particularly, ftr), so like, if youre not interested which I CANNOT FAULT YOU FOR AT ALL, just know that its cool to go on! this isn’t trying to start shit or anything, i genuinely dont want to, im just writing this for Me, basically. its alright. 

thanks thats the intro done okay take care i love u

what...does f*nn have even. he’s good in the ring but he’s surrounded by people who are better. he doesn’t have a character. what motivates him? what the fuck is he even fighting for? what is his personality, even? he absorbs the storylines of everyone around him in any feud he does too often for him to be as underdeveloped as he is and yet we are here and WHY???

i mean. apollo. let’s look at apollo! apollo is similarly kinda underdeveloped character-wise and most of who he is comes from who he is irl, and people don’t really play characters up irl! but like. it’s not glaring in the same way f*nn is, because

1) apollo got called up SUPER SUPER EARLY in nxt where f*nn had YEARS to develop a character and still holds a spot as longest reigning nxt champion, and

2) apollo plays a support role! he’s not a main event player (which is fucking criminal in and of itself but thats another issue) and him being underdeveloped+not as fleshed out lends itself pretty well to him supporting people however they need support at the moment. it’s not Ideal but it works well for who he is in the context of story stuff, which is not the case for f*nn

(also 3 secretly but apollo’s moveset is actually really varied and interesting which f*nn’s is...not but that’s a subjective thing obviously lol)

like. f*nn is just. such a nothing of a wrestler. i’m sorry but genuinely i don’t know or understand what there is there. he doesn’t have a character besides...vagueing people on twitter until he gets what he wants and yes okay i know that’s not an entirely true unbiased thing to say and im sorry but also i dont think im exactly Wrong

(also about vaguing people on twitter i know that has something to do with how bad his 2017 booking was, i WON’T deny that, and multiple people are booked badly in dubya at once and they all deserve more than that, but also f*nn’s the only person who really got any rage on his behalf as far as i’ve seen and it’s definitely affected my feelings about that)

the only thing he’s got going for him is a storied history in new japan, which itself feels lacking in the ring, and which honestly...gets...a lot more credit than deserved (and mostly SOLO credit at that)? he DID create the bullet club but his bullet club was essentially an entire stable of Foreigner Heels. cheap heat. any story he told (and i only know that there was apollo 55, im unaware of any other feuds, so bear that in mind) feels so...like...secondary to that of anyone he worked with. he could be a support role and get away with being the white bread he is but GOD FORBID that should happen, and so he just engulfs the story of anyone around him and does nothing and it’s just

it’s disappointing and its boring and exhausting to see him get shot after shot after shot doing the same thing over and over again because He Can. i have nothing much against him, i think he’s petty and petulant and very...self-absorbed, like, not in an entirely bad way but in the sense that he buys a lot of his own hype? and its...off-putting. i don’t know him personally though obviously, that’s just how i feel about him based on what ive seen, but like, as a person, its whatever. i just can’t stand him as a wrestler or a character. he’s generic and unmotivated and so. NOTHING and it’s exhausting to watch and try to make something meaningful and enjoyable out of. especially juxtaposed with the miz rn, and even with s*th, who i hate but who at least HAS a personality even if it’s a genuinely awful one

not even going into the fan reception of f*nn vs anyone else who’s more deserving and interesting than he is, lmao, i’m bitter as anything about how f*nn is treated compared to the cruiserweights because NATURALLY and OBVIOUSLY i’m biased, you all know this, i don’t deny it, i cant say this comparison is all the way fair when im so so so FUCKING cwuisewweights, but like, the reaction to f*nn getting Beachballed vs any of the 205 dudes getting Beachballed was so heartbreaking in how much More he gets just for the name he’s got

i don’t know. i don’t know. i just think he’s such a nothing of a character, surrounded by people (taguchi, joe, kevin, hideo, FUCK IT, even s*th or like, fucking, KENNY, or the young bucks, or ANYONE) who really care about the character and story they have against him, and instead of being relegated to a supporting role where he’d be like, Worth anything, he’s thrust into whatever title picture or main event there is because He’s F*nn B*lor and it’s so...so much less talked about or acknowledged and for the life of me i don’t understand why. i don’t know what it is im missing

again, i don’t have much against him as a person, i personally don’t like how he acts but he doesn’t seem Proublematique in any way beyond...the foreigner heel stuff which is inherently built in anti-japan sentiment EVEN THOUGH that is strictly kayfabe afaik (though he does fucken. support the special olympics and did some Cool Trendy Straitjacket Entrances as prince nevitt and that is a very VERY personal thing i have against him) i guess that’s what matters. i just. ugh. im over it

i appreciate him being vocally supportive of queer fans but i don’t owe him for that and i still think it sucks that he, a (as far as i know) straight white dude, is getting the platform to do that instead of people who are actually queer and out in the same company. sonya isn’t getting this chance, and more blatantly, darren never got that chance. despite having the block the hate movement, and despite the fact that his coming out is what got him a face turn while it was ENTIRELY and COMPLETELY unacknowledged in the canon universe of wwe proper. like, i guess that’s not f*nn’s fault but there’s a common trend of men of color being pushed down to boost him up and it’s not the best. i don’t think that’s all his fault but i don’t like it

again this isn’t like, denouncing Liking F*nn, its fine! this isnt decrying everything about him, i don’t wanna fight about this, and if you like finn, sincerely i’m glad you can find something there to like and i hope you’re having a good time with him! and to boot i really DON’T know much about anything he did before dubya, and so i could very well be wrong about everything. like, calling the gullet blub just a Cheap Heat Stable? that interpretation could be and probably is wrong. i know that, and i know that’s probably gonna affect how i feel abt him, but also god i do not care even a bit enough to learn and i would rather die than look at pr*nce nevitt/gullet blub anything

i dont know. i hope this didnt come off as.......TOO shitty, i know this is a stupid and mostly impenetrable post, its alright, this is just me trying to work through this for myself and i promise its not like...a huge thing. thats all! thats all. im sorry if i worded this weird at all and i know my perspective isnt the best or most informed on this, but also i am very very tired of f*nn and i don’t think that’s an unfair thing to say

[cyndifferous]

Kind of a Neverender Story

On May 2nd I attended my 10th Coheed and Cambria show and every day that followed for a month or so since then was a storm of emotions and fuzzy feelings. Every time I try to write this down I get annoyed at my own self and trash it so please bear with me. 5 years ago, February 2012, I got an email about Coheed going on tour like the dozens of emails that came before it since I discovered them only this time, almost 10 years into being a fan I finally decided it was time to go. "I need to do this, babe, just once. I need to get it out of my system, I'll never ask again. Just once." That's what I said to my husband before buying our tickets. I've been living this lie for over five years now, and there's no signs of stopping because every moment since then has been like living in a surrealistic bubble of "how did I get from there to here?" Plus I've won him completely over to the Coheed side, he doesn't even try to fight it anymore. We went and I got my first taste of what it was truly like to be a Child of the Fence. There were people in line with guitars singing Coheed songs, no one was rude, it was like everyone knew everyone else and in a way they did because I learned that every Coheed fan has a home in other Coheed fans. I ran in terror every time a band member was coming or going from the bus, amazed that they were so approachable as other fans said hi or got autographs. My brother in law had a good laugh at my expense when he said, "isn't the lead singer the one with the big hair? He's right there," while I stood frozen in place and I'm sure all the color drained from my face. I literally could not force myself to move. The show was absolutely everything I'd dreamed about and so much more. I found myself square in the danger zone of the pit, the crowd was insanely rough, but my eyes did not waiver from that stage. I planted my feet and turned all my focus into not getting sucked backward so I wouldn't miss a single thing. Every memory of coming to love this band, every part of my past life and the people I shared it with, every painful experience in my life that their music carried me through flooded my mind and hit me in my soul. Watching these guys perform with such zest and energy, as if it would be their last show ever breathed life into me, and when Claudio sang Mother Superior, my favorite song at the time, I wept openly and unabashedly while my husband held me tight. (Ok he was actually holding me up because I was not prepared for how physically exhausted I would be) After the show tons of people were gathered on the corner by the tour bus and I talked my husband into letting us stay despite the 3 hour drive home ahead of us. I met so many COTF that I still know and attend shows with today, people I consider "staples" because I always expect to see them in my corner of the southern US and they're always there. The crowd thinned and suddenly Josh pops out of the building and yells, "WHERE IS DOUGIEFRIZZLE?" o.O This Dougie character skips up, vinyl sleeve in hand (an OG IKS pressing), gets it signed by Josh, gives him a huge hug, explains that he's been waiting forever for Josh to rejoin the band because he was missing only his signature. As it turned out, Doug had tweeted to him that he needed him to sign and Josh being the amazing human he is came out to make it happen. Josh hung out for a bit, talking to everyone, signing things and posing for pictures, even gave one guy a beer from the bus because he said that's all he wanted. I was still terrified and I'm pretty sure I didn't speak. Some time around 2 am, what was once a crowd of us had thinned to about 25 of us; venue security had gone home no doubt believing that we are all insane, and my brother in law had long since retreated to the car to sleep. Coheed's tour manager, Pete, came off the bus and in a very no-nonsense manner gave us the news we'd been waiting for, that the band was going to come out for a meet and greet. At 2 am. In downtown Birmingham. WHAT!! "Have your cameras out, I will take your pictures, if you want something signed have it ready. Any shenanigans and we're getting back on the bus." I didn't have any words for them, except that Zach didn't come out so I requested that. He came and said "I didn't think anyone would want me to," so humble and sweet that man is. I left after getting my pictures and my ticket signed (by all but Josh) and when we passed back by I yelled "I love you Claudio" out the car window and I still cringe when I think of that, hahaha! I didn't sleep that night, how do you just go to sleep when you can feel your life slowly pulling into focus? I love my husband and my children, but I'm a stay at home mom and it can really be the pits sometimes despite the fact that I know I'm extremely lucky to be able to be home with them. At this particular time in my life things were out of whack for me, not as badly as they would come to be, but enough that my own worth already felt unimportant and lost in the repetitiveness of my boring existence. I revitalized a twitter account I had created a few years before and never tweeted from and went on a follow frenzy. I filled the void left by being stuck at home all the time with Coheed fans. I finally had a place to let me be myself, not wife or mommy, just Cyndi. Not only that, but I found hundreds of people just like me: totally invested in Coheed and Cambria, excited about it all the time, where the conversation never ended. People from all over the world, different ages, and from every walk of life you could imagine. What I found was my second home. Thus Cyndifferous was born and I'm onto the meat of my story. In the Coheed community, 10 shows is a drop in the bucket for a lot more fans than you would think, so while I'm personally celebrating that accomplishment, what I came here to talk about isn't that at all. I want to talk about the fans, my friends, my people. I threw myself into the community, dubbing twitter my own personal Heedfeed. I'm always excited about Coheed and when other people are excited too it bleeds back into me and doubles it. I'm pretty sure that I have organs and a nervous system that keep me living, but I'm also pretty sure that without Coheed & the COTF it would all cease to function. I'm a people person and the COTF community welcomed me with open arms. I started using keyword searches to find new friends, and also to share excellent content that may have otherwise been missed. What's great about our community is that even when the band is taking time off, or there's a lull while waiting for movement, there's still ample things to talk about and no shortage of people to talk to. Over the last 5 years in all my personal ups and downs, no matter the distance, I always had my cotf friends for support. When I'm bored, they're there. When I'm sad, they're there. When I'm ecstatic or miserable or anywhere in between. We even get excited about each other's upcoming shows, merch scores, and personal victories. There is no room for jealousy in Heaven's Fence. No room for egos and competition, because we're all so busy looking out for one another and having each other's backs. As true and steady as the keywork that holds Heaven's Fence in place. I've never not felt like the COTF community is my place in the world, my little niche, a safe space for everyone who shares the love for this band that gave us so much just by existing. I mentioned earlier that I've been in a whirlwind of emotions since the show and it's time to clarify. Since the moment I came on board this community I have never felt unwelcome, not even when I would rack up 1,000 tweets in a day or live tweet lyrics to two or three albums in a night. Not even when I parted ways with one project after another, some with an uproar, others a silent exit. Not even when I was constantly asking questions because, let's face it, there's a lot to know about Coheed, it's counterparts, and it's members. People like Neesh who have been around the community seemingly since the beginning of time and who are still enthusiastic and completely on board with welcoming a new person and bestowing upon them what feels like all of their knowledge, but is probably just beginning to scratch the surface. I remember laaaaaaate nights in the RadioXenu chat room with Neesh learning little nuggets of band history, staying up literally all night the night she showed me The Mours and some SUPER old demos from Shabutie & Weerd Science. (Neesh's YouTube channel is a gold mine just by the way) After all this time she is still active and vocal in the community, and still just so damn nice to EVERYONE, that's impressive especially considering how many people I've seen wax and wane or come and go. My point is, Neesh inspired me to always be that person, to always be open and welcoming and a home for COTF, most especially the new ones just hopping on board our particular brand of crazy train, trying to find their place in our vast community. The least I can do after all of the unexpected kindness that has been shown to me over the years is continue to pass that on...forever. Seeing Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV, Volume 1: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness live in all of its glory was an experience I could relive every moment for the rest of my life and die happy. In fact, I hope when I'm about to embark on my next life and my life memories replay that this night is featured. Literally everything about the day was perfect, the weather, the friends, the food. And as the night began it took a huge leap into epic, beginning with witnessing one of the most beautiful moments I've ever witnessed at a show. (I'm looking at you, Yui. And also at you Ern, you amazing human, you.) I'm sparing details because I came here to talk about what happened post-show, I think I've told enough show stories for now, ha! For me, approximately 60% of a Coheed show is meeting people. Internet friends, old friends, new friends, there's no such thing as strangers. This particular show was a "homecoming" of sorts for me because Atlanta is usually where I see my Coheed shows and the previous two tours I skipped Atlanta in search of new places and faces. I got to see people I have missed so dearly since IKS Neverender, including Tim, the very first COTF to ever show me the kind nature of our community at my first show, and also the first I'd heard of people who travel around the country just to see these guys perform their miracle of musicianship. There are not many things in life that parallel the joy of recognizing someone and saying "I KNOW YOUR FACE," even when you've only ever seen it in a tiny profile box online. And so begins a series of happenings that have filled my heart to the bursting point. My bestest friends & I, Jim and James AKA The Awkward Team, met up for this because we are separated by so much distance (Mississippi, Iowa, Florida) that we try our hardest to come together for shows at least. We arrived in Atlanta the day before the show and it wasn't long before our friend Ian reached out to see what we were up to that night. Turns out he was just handed a shitty life card and needed some company! We all met up at Buckhead Pizza Co, my very first day-before-the-show hang, usually I'm a lump in my hotel room the day before haha! We had so much fun hanging out in that pizza place, and being there for Ian to take the burn out of a real bummer of a situation was awesome. Even Nina Uber'd over to hang out with us! Our pizza hangs turned into parking garage hangs and we all laughed so much our faces hurt. In short, thank you for messaging me Ian, you made our night probably 10x more fun and it was great to finally get the time to hang out with you! The show was....I can't even find the adjective to accurately convey that particular evening. The energy was high in the crowd as it always is in Atlanta, but this one was unlike any other. We had full-venue waves going on, it took us a few tries to get the whole floor and balcony involved but when it finally came together it was unforgettably amazing. I thought I would regret choosing to be in the all-seated balcony for this show, but as it turned out the entire balcony was on their feet for the whole show. Give Coheed fans at least one square foot of space to move and dance in and we will do it. And we did. I've been to a couple of shows with a very laid back crowd, this was the exact opposite and that energy conveyed to the band on stage as they powered through one of the most difficult albums in their discography. They moved and grooved right along with us, with the biggest smiles I think I've ever seen them play a show with. And when Final Cut came up, Claudio disappeared from the stage and reappeared ten feet to my left in the balcony shredding a solo and letting a fan play his guitar. Those moments, when the band is floating on the energy of the crowd, when every note they play slams more energy around, when you can tell they're happy to be where they are and loving what they do are next-level. If we could bottle up the energy from a show like that we could live forever on it. I may never experience another show quite like that one, but if not I won't be at a loss because it was immortalized on Coheed TV and I revisit it often. https://youtu.be/aLkoNo5f-r4 After the show I always hang around outside, its prime time to talk about the show, meet up with people you missed beforehand, and sometimes even catch an impromptu meet and greet. I was sitting down in the parking lot because even though I had a balcony seat I was on my feet dancing, jumping and moving around during the entire set. It wasn't long after the show that a gentleman approached me and introduced himself as someone from twitter and thanked me for....being me? I'm trying to stay clear of personal vanity, but he thanked me for being kind and and friendly online, told me I was the first COTF he followed, and it was truly awesome to meet him. He flew all the way from Kansas to come to the Atlanta show! I live and breathe for moments like that, when internet and real life collides unexpectedly and someone expresses their gratitude for me. I can dish out compliments all day long, but taking them is hard for me because I'm just a potato of a person who loves Coheed. What I do is not a special skill or talent, I just love to talk and I happen to have a ton of free time to do that with. So thank you, carnacolypse! I catch a fair amount of grief sometimes from my family for the amount of time I spend online, and those moments where someone tosses me appreciation for that, even though I'm just doing what I do, makes the sting of that grief go away. I'm just a girl in Mississippi, I've said it all along and I'll continue to say it forever. I am not special in any way, but my friends sure do make me feel that way. Not overshadowing all of the other COTF I got to meet for the first time that day, including Alison who came all the way from Canada and started her epic multi-date heedtrip at the Atlanta show! Coming home after a heedtrip is hard. Post-Coheed depression is a very real thing for a lot of fans. I love my kids, and I miss them like crazy when I'm away, but I see them every day of the year, my cotf friends get 2, 3 or 4 if I'm SUPER lucky and coheed busts out a secondary market tour. Sometimes it's not so bad, but this time I was missing my awkward team and sad that the Neverender I felt like I'd waited a lifetime was now officially behind me. A tough pill to swallow. I stayed horizontal pretty much all of Thursday. As always though I fell back into the swing my boring existence, empowered by the task of staying positive and continuing to share and discuss the events of Coheed's continuing tour. A new Tales From The Grail Arbor video drops every so often and this sounds silly, but it hypes me right back up again. Dirty Ern has a way with photos and videos, capturing moments that flood you with memories of your own adventures while enjoying clips of someone else's. I've teared up with joy during almost all of the 16 episodes that have come out so far. PLUG- if you haven't subscribed to Coheed's YouTube do that right now, CoheedTV is everything you love about Coheed DVDs but free and is also a comprehensive behind-the-scenes look into what tour life is like. There are still more episodes on the way. https://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialCoheed -ENDPLUG The reality is though, that the joy of being a COTF never really stops coming, even when the post-show sadness tries to sink into my soul. This community is everlasting. The connection is always there, no matter the distance. There's always something happening, someone talking, lives being lived under the precious veil of COTF life. (It's not just a band after all, it's a lifestyle) So while the post-Coheed funk comes hard and fast and devastating, it lifts quickly enough and you propel forward into the next big thing. For me, watching the next wave of excitement when the U.K. leg of the tour started was pretty epic. Following their heedtrips as they come together from so many different countries is amazing. But currently, that's excitement that Coheed is returning to the Amory Wars storyline with their next album (YAY!), the knowledge that Josh is hard at work on a couple of different and very exciting musical endeavors (one of which I was lucky enough to hear a sample of and you people should be over the moon excited for it), and of course the upcoming Chonny and Clyde project. Not to mention, we're still not quite halfway through the release of the long awaited Good Apollo comics, and each issue brings with it another wave of fun because this series is incredible and extremely well done. Truth be told there's always something around the next corner with this band and their members, and that's a big reason why I love being a fan of these people and their art. It's now been almost 3 months since Neverender in Atlanta. The tour has long since finished, SDCC has come and gone, and once more the quiet waiting has settled in. The lull. But today is my birthday, and I can't even put into words how incredible it is to wake up to a flood of birthday greetings from literally all over the world. Close friends and acquaintances the same took time out of their days and lives to wish me well on my birthday and the gratitude and love I feel every single year takes my breath away. It doesn't get old, it never fails to put the biggest smile on my face. In reality my birthday is just another day, but the hundreds of people that I've met, or will soon meet, or may never meet make this day special. It serves as a reminder that I have found my home in another place. I am a person with more to offer than the hundred jobs that fall under the stay-at-home-mom blanket title. It carries its own joy, but knowing that I still exist as a person apart from that is a gift because I have lost that before. There isn't another community in the entire universe I would rather be a part of than this one. I hold great pride in all of you, my friends who keep me going, who share my life with me and allow me to share in yours. Thank you with my whole heart, and thank you Coheed for doing what you do and caring about your fans and putting so much of your time and effort into making sure each move you make is bigger and better than the last. You boys are a rare gift, and your fans know that fully well with everything you do. **Disclaimer: I wrote this a little at a time so my apologies for any errant or incoherent parts, or anything I may have left out. "Words don't come with ease."

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Justin Timberlakes Super Bowl Halftime Show Was a Total Disaster

For someone so recently tone-deaf, its remarkable that Justin Timberlake managed to get out a note at all during his Super Bowl halftime show.

Then again, the sound design was so poorTimberlakes vocals were only decipherable when no instruments were playingeven that meager commendation is arguable. Whats inarguable is that after a string of jaw-dropping extravaganzas from the likes of Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, and Beyonc, Justin Timberlake delivered the worst halftime show of the traditions recent pop-star era. May the ghost of Prince haunt him forever.

Its one thing when a cynical media is preemptively eager to drag a performance. From the unjust optics of Timberlakes redemption for his part in the Janet Jackson nip-slip fiasco to the rumors that hed be using a hologram of The Purple One against his familys wishes, the lead-up to Sunday nights show was mired in controversy. But its another when the abysmal end product merits the inevitable snark.

Listless, muted, lacking any cohesion and spectacle, it was the Big Games biggest fumble.

These past weeks have served us an unwelcome Justin Timberlake reinvention as a Man of the Woods, with all the conviction of a thirty-something man who grows some stubble and starts telling everyone hes really into IPAs now, as if thats a personality trait. Sundays show thankfully spared us any more of that, opting instead for a stroll through memory lane soundtracked by his hit-laden back catalog. But it was also a reminder of how easily memories can be tainted.

Timberlakes set opened with a performance from what looked like Minnesotas least fun karaoke bar, warbling through his unremarkable new single Filthy with the finesse and enthusiasm of someone forced to get up and sing by their annoyingly drunk friends. Starting underground in the arenas hallway was an odd choice for kicking off pop cultures biggest concert, starting with a whimper in cramped quarters rather than a bang from the greatest stage.

The whole thing was extremely claustrophobican awkwardness that lingered throughout the entire set, as Timberlake moved from one tiny, overly crowded stage to another, and finally into the stands where he was swarmed by fans desperate to film him on their iPhones.

Though its one of his more popular hits, were honestly surprised that he followed Filthy with a few minutes of Rock Your Body, the song he performed with Janet Jackson during the infamous 2004 incident. Youd think Timberlake would want to avoid any reminder of the scandal, especially considering how angry so many people still are over the way he handled it.

As Ira Madison recalled in The Daily Beast, while it was Timberlake who literally exposed Jacksons breast, he swiftly passed the blame onto her. She was blacklisted from TV and her music banned on radio stations, a cloud that hung over her career for most of the next decade while Timberlakes fame skyrocketed, landing him right back on the Super Bowl stage.

Its unclear whether an invitation was extended to Jackson to join Timberlake at Sunday nights show, but after so much speculation she did clarify that she would not be appearing. In response, fans had #JanetJacksonAppreciationDay trending on Twitter, paying respect to the pop star over the white male who disrespected her.

All of this is to say were shocked by the, well, rudeness of Timberlake choosing to sing Rock Your Body again on Sunday night. Its just as well, though, to remind us of how ludicrous we are as a society and selectively unforgiving and hypocritical we can be. We buried Janet for the nipple, but will we forgive Justin for the hate crime that was that Prince duet?

Word leaked earlier in the weekend that Timberlake was planning to pay respect to Minneapoliss greatest pop star by performing with a hologram version of him, a report that was eventually debunkedand at least the third time I can remember that a planned hologram performance was scrapped after public outcry over how tasteless and grim the entire idea is.

Still, the constant pop-culture threat of these things is exhausting. Who are the people who desire these holograms? They are macabre and appropriating and disrespectful and, even excusing all that, cheesy as hell. Its a baffling strategy if the idea is to amp up a live performance. What would make the thrill and the crackling energy of a live show where anything can happen even more electric? I know! A computer facsimile of a human.

Most of us presumed that no hologram meant no cringe-worthy Prince homage, but no, Timberlake dueted with a projection of The Purple One performing I Would Die 4 U. Princes family approved of the use of the projection. Social media certainly didnt.

That so much of the reaction to Timberlakes halftime show is in relation to its egregious connections to two other pop stars speaks volumes; despite the fact that the singer performed a hit-filled set of chart-toppers including Sexy Back, My Love, Cry Me a River, and Mirrors, there was no sense of grandeur that weve come to expect from the Super Bowl stage.

Timberlake has set his own bar as a phenomenal, electrifying live performer. Here, his dance moves werent as lithe and spritely as they once were, almost as if he was marking the choreographylike it wasnt rehearsed enough.

And, because it must be said, he was wearing what might have been the ugliest outfit Ive ever seen. Baggy camouflage cargo pants. A red bandana handkerchief around his neck. A button-up shirt with a still life of deer in a field screened on it. The assault on the very idea of fashion became a grenade to the eyes when he then donned a matching blazer for Suit and Tie, the debonair anthem and ode to suaveness, performed here in a camouflage suit.

Listen, we like Timberlakes hits. Hes a charismatic performer. When that song from Trolls comes on while were at Duane Reade, we smile and sing along and fondly remember that time we spilled wine on ourselves while dancing to it at our sisters wedding. But, momentarily absolving all his thinkpiece-fodder sins, the thing that ruined Timberlakes halftime show was a naked lack of ambition.

There was no political statement, sly as they might have been when Beyonc performed with only women on stage with her when she sang Formation, and then had a dance battle of the sexes against Bruno Mars (that she killed, obviously), or when Lady Gaga opened her show with a patriotic medley saying this is what America means to me, and then proceeded to put on a freak-flag-flying-fantasmic-supernatural-LGBT-empowering spectacular. (And in the first weeks of Trumps presidency, to boot.)

There was no feat of athleticism akin to the sense that Beyonc, Gaga, and Mars trained like a Super Bowl player for their shows, expending every ounce of energy they had in them in their explosive sets. There wasnt even a sense of superb musicianship, a la Prince or Springsteen, or any sort of regal ownership of the right to be on that stage, which Diana Ross, Paul McCartney, Madonna, and Michael Jackson had reigned supremely on before.

I mean, for Gods sake, at least give us a Left Shark. Then again, maybe his entire performance was Left Shark.

No costume changes. No stunts. No guests. (Not even NSYNC!) Just warbled noise. Once upon a time, Justin Timberlake brought sexy back. Now wed like a refund.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/justin-timberlakes-super-bowl-halftime-show-was-a-total-disaster

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